By KT Wright
It’s October again, so like clockwork GWAR came ravishing through the Northwest. They always come around when the temperature drops. Just another way to torture the human race. After soaking fans with their blood, sweat, and piss they release us out into the cold, drenched from head to toe. Brrr! I can feel the pneumonia coming on already.
Hmm a pneumonia phenomenon, could it be the Gwarpocalypse?
I knew just the alien to ask! I was all set to interview the one and only Oderus Urungus when WAH WAH WAHHHH GWAR got stuck in Canada the night before the show. I can only imagine what its like for a GWAR tour to try and get through customs… So my interview got the boot due to a backed up schedule but they still took to the stage and slayed as usual.
On the chopping block tonight was the Queen of England breasts along with the Royal Baby and and JUSTIN BIEBER’s teeny-tiny pecker… Slaughtered to the tune of…
“Madness at the Core of Time”
“Hate Love Songs”
“Metal Metal Land”
“Bring Back the Bomb”
“Ham on the Bone”
“They Swallowed the Sun”
“Jack the World”
“Let Us Slay”
“Happy Death Day”
“Sick of You”
“Ocean O’Riley” (medley of BILLY OCEAN’s “Get Outta My Dreams, Get into My Car” and THE WHO’s “Baba O’Riley”)
Despite the lack of blood shed when us photographers were shooting and the fact that I can now regrettably say I’ve seen BIEBER live in concert, GWAR are still one of the most entertaining acts you’ll ever see live. But man, I was really looking forward to finding out how heavy Odurus’ balls are and when the world is going to end. They must know, considering they did create mankind. My guess is we are all puppets on their strings. I guess when it comes down to it, I’ll still head to the slave pit for refuge. -KT Wright